The Slop Index

Do real brands write like AI?

We ran each brand's real marketing copy through the same detector the No Slop skills run. Mostly the answer is no. Big brands hire copywriters, so they score near zero. That's the bar. A typical AI-written draft scores 10/10 on the exact same test. The gap is the tell.

These brands, average

0.2/10

Human copy. Clean.

A typical AI draft

10/10

Straight from the model.

Ranked by AI-tell density · 13 brands

  1. 01
    3/10

    Nespresso

    CoffeeSource

    1 tell · 37 words

    • Elevateimprove / raise
    Show the copy

    Any coffee, any size. Be your own barista. Elevate your every sip with expert recipes you can easily recreate at home. Protecting the planet with every pour. As a certified B corp, Nespresso is committed to circularity.

  2. 02
    0/10

    AG1

    SupplementsSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  3. 03
    0/10

    HubSpot

    B2B SaaSSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  4. 04
    0/10

    Lululemon

    ApparelSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  5. 05
    0/10

    Calm

    Wellness appSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  6. 06
    0/10

    Anthropic (Claude)

    AISource

    Clean · no AI tells

  7. 07
    0/10

    OpenAI (ChatGPT)

    AISource

    Clean · no AI tells

  8. 08
    0/10

    Instacart

    DeliverySource

    Clean · no AI tells

  9. 09
    0/10

    Hims & Hers

    TelehealthSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  10. 10
    0/10

    LinkedIn

    Professional networkSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  11. 11
    0/10

    Uber

    RideshareSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  12. 12
    0/10

    Stanley

    DrinkwareSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  13. 13
    0/10

    HBO Max

    StreamingSource

    Clean · no AI tells

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The score is an automated count of common AI-writing tells (specific words and phrases) in the copy shown. It is a measure of writing style, not a judgment of any brand, its products, or the quality of its work. Copy excerpts are quoted for commentary and criticism. All brand names and trademarks belong to their respective owners; no affiliation or endorsement is implied. Entries are submitted by users; to request a correction or removal, email jonathan@growthpair.com.

Delete the tell for good.

The grader is the skill running once. Install No Slop Copy and Claude scrubs these tells out of every draft, before you paste it anywhere.