The Slop Index

Do real brands write like AI?

We ran each brand's real marketing copy through the same detector the No Slop skills run. Mostly the answer is no. Big brands hire copywriters, so they score near zero. That's the bar. A typical AI-written draft scores 10/10 on the exact same test. The gap is the tell.

These brands, average

0.7/10

Human copy. Clean.

A typical AI draft

10/10

Straight from the model.

Ranked by AI-tell density · 26 brands

  1. 01
    3/10

    Nespresso

    CoffeeSource

    1 tell · 37 words

    • Elevateimprove / raise
    Show the copy

    Any coffee, any size. Be your own barista. Elevate your every sip with expert recipes you can easily recreate at home. Protecting the planet with every pour. As a certified B corp, Nespresso is committed to circularity.

  2. 02
    3/10

    MPLUS

    SubmittedSource

    1 tell · 29 words

    • justcut it
    Show the copy

    MPLUS | Experience Intelligence Provider Mplus combines AI speed and Human expertise into one CX system. Care, sales, retention, and support, all measured by business outcomes, not just activity.

  3. 03
    3/10

    Waymo

    SubmittedSource

    1 tell · 33 words

    • em-dash crutch — recast the sentence
    Show the copy

    Waymo - Self-Driving Cars - Autonomous Vehicles - Ride-Hail Waymo—formerly the Google self-driving car projectmakes it safe and easy for people & things to get around with autonomous vehicles. Take a ride now.

  4. 04
    3/10

    Oura Ring

    SubmittedSource

    1 tell · 32 words

    • Enhanceimprove / add
    Show the copy

    Oura Ring. Smart Ring for Fitness, Stress, Sleep & Health. Enhance your health journey with Oura. The Oura Ring provides round-the-clock insights into sleep, fitness, and stress for wellness. Now HSA/FSA eligible.

  5. 05
    2/10

    Lumos AI

    SubmittedSource

    2 tells · 87 words

    • trulycut it
    • em-dash crutch — recast the sentence
    Show the copy

    Lumos AI – Data Infrastructure for Health & Life Science Improve the accuracy and safety of your AI model with human experts, RLHF/RLAIF, and RL environments for health and life science. Building environments for healthcare & life science AI We’re making health and life-science AI truly accurate and safe. Our team has delivered evaluation and data projects for OpenAI, Google, and Meta. Now we focus on one thing — making AI work in health in partnership with foundational labs, fast-growing startups, and governments around the world.

  6. 06
    2/10

    Ezoic

    SubmittedSource

    2 tells · 101 words

    • em-dash crutch — recast the sentence
    Show the copy

    Ezoic — Grow on the open web Billions of people visit premium websites and web apps every day. Ezoic puts your brand in front of them with bidsystem.ai. Grow on the open web Monetize Learn Login Get started Get started Grow on the open web Billions of people visit premium websites and web apps every day. Ezoic puts your brand in front of them and optimizes for performance. DTC brands, lead generation, content arbitrage, subscription apps, SaaS whatever you sell or grow, Ezoic puts your offer in front of the people most likely to convert across the open web.

  7. 07
    1/10

    Transformative Capital For the New Indian Economy

    SubmittedSource

    1 tell · 86 words

    • Transformativecut it — show the result
    Show the copy

    Transformative Capital For the New Indian Economy At 3one4, we are biased towards action and channel the relevant resources to support generational innovation engines out of India. We partner with early-stage companies that are mission-oriented and are setting new standards for inclusive value creation and sustainable growth. How We Work Through a pragmatic deep-involvement model grounded in consumer behavioural patterns, actionable insights extracted from power-user networks, and by tapping inorganic growth vectors for opportunity capture, we unshackle founders from constraints on the path to market leadership.

  8. 08
    0/10

    AG1

    SupplementsSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  9. 09
    0/10

    HubSpot

    B2B SaaSSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  10. 10
    0/10

    Lululemon

    ApparelSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  11. 11
    0/10

    Calm

    Wellness appSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  12. 12
    0/10

    Anthropic (Claude)

    AISource

    Clean · no AI tells

  13. 13
    0/10

    OpenAI (ChatGPT)

    AISource

    Clean · no AI tells

  14. 14
    0/10

    Instacart

    DeliverySource

    Clean · no AI tells

  15. 15
    0/10

    Hims & Hers

    TelehealthSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  16. 16
    0/10

    LinkedIn

    Professional networkSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  17. 17
    0/10

    Uber

    RideshareSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  18. 18
    0/10

    Stanley

    DrinkwareSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  19. 19
    0/10

    HBO Max

    StreamingSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  20. 20
    0/10

    Corporate Training Malaysia

    SubmittedSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  21. 21
    0/10

    TwentyCi

    SubmittedSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  22. 22
    0/10

    Tendr

    SubmittedSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  23. 23
    0/10

    NationSwell

    SubmittedSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  24. 24
    0/10

    FurtherAI

    SubmittedSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  25. 25
    0/10

    AI Risk Decisioning Platform for Financial Institutions

    SubmittedSource

    Clean · no AI tells

  26. 26
    0/10

    Buffer: All-you-need social media toolkit for small businesses

    SubmittedSource

    Clean · no AI tells

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The score is an automated count of common AI-writing tells (specific words and phrases) in the copy shown. It is a measure of writing style, not a judgment of any brand, its products, or the quality of its work. Copy excerpts are quoted for commentary and criticism. All brand names and trademarks belong to their respective owners; no affiliation or endorsement is implied. Entries are submitted by users; to request a correction or removal, email jonathan@growthpair.com.

Delete the tell for good.

The grader is the skill running once. Install No Slop Copy and Claude scrubs these tells out of every draft, before you paste it anywhere.